𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝑩𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰𝒏𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝑰𝒔 𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕

I sat in the midst of a party.  All the talk of kids and grandkids swirling around me like fallen leaves on a windy day; the "mine this" and "ours that", the one-upmanship in each statement, the endless scrolling of cell phone photos.  I felt so small, invisible, alone.  As I smiled at each photo and oooo'd and awwww'd over them, I prayed my true emotions weren't showing.

Now, certainly, I am happy that these folks all take pride in their growing families.  Our Lord created us and planned for us to continue to grow through the birth of children and grandchildren.  " Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court." Psalm 127:3-5 NIV

However, my initial reaction, having never been blessed with human children, is always much different than it is when I am presented with fur-kid family photos.  Right away, I remark on the breed or cuteness factor or the setting in which the picture is placed.  I initiate dialogue about things like what food and treats we serve, toys they like, what quirks ours might display that are common to others, and generally enjoy a conversation that holds meaning and mutual interest.

But, when I arrived home after that party, I began feeling a little guilty.   How selfish of me to expect conversations would cover topics that I was completely interested in.  How thoughtless of me to not recognize how proud and full of love those grandparents were of their offsprings' children.  How inconsiderate of me to feign interest.  "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." ~Philippians 2:4-5 NLT

Over the 4 plus decades of our marriage, my husband and I have never felt deprived or regretful for never having been blessed with children.  We have been blessed in so many other ways.  We understood and accepted early on that childlessness was our assignment from God and we learned to embrace other things to express our love and commitment both to each other and those around us.  Our gift of a string of fur-kids over the years, who've brought endless joy to our lives, taught us many life lessons, and filled us with a pride that overflows with love for each one of them.  Assignments as a hockey coach for Bill or an ESL instructor for me gave us purpose and allowed us share our gifts as leaders to others.  "People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron." ~Proverbs 27:17 GNT

I've been praying over this situation since coming home from that party and I realize that, while my heart seemed hard at the time, I know the way to soften it.  I have recognized that the indifference I may have felt toward those people could very easily be reciprocated because they don't share my enthusiastic anecdotes about my fur-kids.  As I spent time confessing my thoughtless behaviour to the Lord, I was reminded that, "On the other hand, if we admit our sins - make a clean breast of them - he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing.: ~1 John:9

How refreshing it is to realize and relinquish to God.  And even better, the stark lesson that was made plain to me; that of humility and kindness.  "Don't do anything from selfish ambition or from a cheap desire to boast, but be humble toward one another, always considering others better than yourselves.  And look out for one another's interests, not just for your own." ~Philippians 2:3-4 GNT

In the midst of a party in Jerusalem, Jesus deferred for a time, from being the centre of the conversation when He stooped and washed the feet of all the party-goers.  He made Himself the "least" in the room so that they all could understand His message as He said, ""If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them."" ~John 13:14-17 ESV  He pointed out that being invisible in the room is how we're meant to be. He reminded us that the ultimate expression of love is to become humble and serve others.

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PAWS TO PRAY

Father God,

Thank You for always teaching us. As we enjoy fellowship with others, we'll sometimes stumble and forget that we're meant to be invisible in the room. Lord, we pray that when we do this, You'll forgive us and gently nudge our hearts and minds to recall Your words. Help us Lord, to always keep the bowl and towel in the fronts of our minds so that we may express our love to others; let our lips be quiet and our ears be open as we allow others the higher place at the table.

In Jesus' Holy Name we pray,

Amen

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𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒀𝒐𝒖 & 𝑮𝒐𝒅 𝑩𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔